Got Self-Control?

Got Self-Control? 

I have some confessions to make.

I used to eat an entire pint (or more) of ice cream in one sitting. Sometimes I’d add freshly baked chocolate chip cookies to my feast of sweets for good measure. Oh and an entire bag of tortilla chips? Yes, please.

I used to watch Netflix or YouTube for hours.  When A Different World was on Netflix, honey please. We’re talking all day in front of the TV.  Like, “Oh, hey nighttime.”

I’ve been known to have a whole conversation about some celebrity’s life that I don’t even know.  A super judgey conversation to boot.

These friends, are my confessions.

Needless to say, God has dealt with me and continues to deal with me about self-control. Thankfully the ice cream issue is a thing of the past as is the Netflix binge-watching. But I’m still working on portion control with food in general and have to catch myself before a YouTube marathon takes over.

According to Webster’s dictionary self-control is “restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.” It’s interesting to note that the word ‘restraint’ has the word ‘train’ in it.  Essentially, self-control is a result of training yourself to do the right thing, in the right amount, at the right time, in the right way.  For me, this meant that I didn’t just randomly wake up and snub my nose at some delicious ice cream. I prayed about it and gave it to God. This led me to give up ice cream completely for a couple of months. I now only eat it occasionally instead of almost nightly. To get to the point where I can just have a couple of scoops and not the whole pint, I had to train myself to say no.  Now, that pint lasts me a week or two and not just one night in front of the television.

“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” – I Corinthians 9:25

“No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.” –  1 Corinthians 10:13

Maybe ice cream or gossip isn’t what gets you. Maybe it’s wasting way too much time on social media. Maybe it’s being argumentative with your husband or yelling at your children. Perhaps it’s road rage or procrastination.  Whatever it is, extend yourself grace and remember that without training and time it won’t happen.

Also and perhaps most importantly, remember that we cannot change ourselves.

“[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight. Philippians 2:13

It has taken me a long time to fully grasp this concept and walk in it. I have spent years of frustration wondering why I haven’t been able to change or progress in certain areas the way I would like.  The answer was that I was operating in my own self-sufficiency. Lasting change and progress, particularly in our walk with God, can only be made when we rely completely on Him and let Him do the heavy lifting.

In other words, we can’t just wish for more self-control in those tough areas. We also can’t just try really really hard and expect to see lasting results. It’s not something we can develop in our own strength or overnight. It is a fruit of the spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

Fruit, by definition, takes time to grow.  Sometimes a long time. 

This is not an excuse to not work on ourselves, but it is a reminder that we are in a marathon, not a sprint.  If we focus on developing our spirits with time spent in His Word, and in His presence, we can reap a harvest. How do you exercise self-control in your own life? Let’s help each other out and share in the comments! Also, I made a video that touches on this topic on my YouTube channel. Check it out!

About the Author:

Ayesha Keller is a lover of Jesus, wife, and mother of two rambunctious boys. She is also an assistant social work professor, blogger and vlogger.  You can read her blog here and visit her YouTube channel here.