I never thought I would experience the dreadful “D” word. From the time I was a little girl, I saw my parents as role models. They were far from perfect, but they were committed to one another. Being married for over 50 years is something to be celebrated, and I vowed that when I got married it would be forever.
Yet after three years of marriage and an even longer courtship, I had to come face to face with the pain of divorce. My wedding day was perfect, but even while vows were exchanged, tears fell down our faces and sweet melodies resounded in the atmosphere, there were deep, dark secrets that I would later discover. I could go on and on about the things that my ex-husband did wrong and where he missed the mark and fell short, but this is not that kind of story. It took me a long time to come to this resolve, but it was my own self-inflicted wounds that shaped my destiny. You see, I grew up in church and I knew that it was a mistake to be unequally yoked, but when I met my ex-husband, I threw caution to the wind and fell hard. I ignored all the signals and even when God gave me a way of escape, I kept jumping right back into the piercing dagger of hurt and pain. Sounds crazy, right? But how often do we ignore God’s direction by means of giving into our own desires and cravings? I could have saved myself years of heartache if only I had listened to the gentle tugging of the Holy Spirit.
He was always cautioning me, giving me signs, but I was too blind and hard headed to heed them. Not only did I suffer, but three boys had to endure feelings of abandonment and rejection. It’s amazing, but despite my self-inflicted wounds, God had a plan.
Read more of “God Healed My Self-Inflicted Wounds” by Margaret Johnson in Memoirs of a Virtuous Woman’s Magazine Issue focusing on Healing from Past Wounds. Get yours in print or digital HERE.